Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
