Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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