And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
