honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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