No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
