yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
