talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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