Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
