He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
