I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize