Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
