So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
