Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
