Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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