i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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