Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My vagina just recognized that song.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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