Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
