i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sponge bath it is.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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