Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I could make wine with my vomit
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
