Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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