What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
