I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She said her name was "party"
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
