It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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