Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
