no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Randomize
