You can't special order awesome
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
