i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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