My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
