beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize