I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
