I'm lost and stupid without you.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
