We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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