I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
