you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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