Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
