At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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