dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
