Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
