i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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