either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Randomize
