i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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