dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
