i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
