Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
