I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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