Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
