Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
