A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
