how hairy? two words: wookie tits
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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