He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
